Hey beautiful people,

I have to say I’ve been enjoying catching up with friends, engaging in meaningful conversations and astoundly, I noticed that most of my friends are  either 25 or turning 25. From the conversations,  the themes seemed directed towards various forms of pressures and basically all of life’s big events.  I was certainly shocked at how similar the feelings were, but also how differently everyone was dealing with it. I was even more shocked that it was not just my female friends feeling the pressure!

A lot of us could relate to the pressure coming from family members. Some of the pressure were also coming from personal  goals people had set for themselves but yet to achieve such as being in a stable relationship, buying a mortgage, being financially stable and so on.

There were some positive feelings about turning 25 but today’s post is generally about the pressures and overwhelming thoughts (if you guys like, I could dedicate a post to the positive aspects too because there were a lot of these! Do let me know in the comment section)

What is it exactly that makes us feel under pressure as young people when approaching the age 25.

Are we being pressured by our society? Are these pressures cultural? Is it just an environmental thing or is it based on individual mindsets? These are a lot of questions that needs to be considered.

Speaking as someone from an African background, more specifically Nigerian as I cannot speak on behalf of all African countries. Since I finished my first degree, I’ve been asked repeatedly ‘Florence, where is he?’ ‘Are you being too picky?’ ‘Florence why are you still single?’ ‘You know you’re not getting any younger?’. I could continue with the list of questions. Though some of these questions sometimes come from people who just need to mind their own business in general, it can still have a negative impact especially if one is in a vulnerable state of mind.  I personally feel it’s unfortunate that relationships are associated with success and responsibilities, I mean there is so much more about an individual that should be appreciated such as saving towards a house or discovering yourself on your first solo trip.

I took time out to really look deeply at what is causing the feeling of being overwhelmed or feeling under pressure. It seemed to stem from the notion of  self-comparison, lack of self-love and not trusting one’s own journey.

I watched a YouTube video by Breeney Lee’s in which she shared a different perspective on how we should practice love. I thought I’d share my perspective on it as it seemed relatable to this topic.

Love is patient – be patient with the pace of your own journey. Review the goals you have set in the past. Were they realistic? Were they achievable? If they were not, set new goals and work towards them, actively and consistently. Also, remember patience is a virtue.

Love is forgiving- Move past your mistakes. Leave them in the past where they belong and create new experiences. We all have goals and dreams, it can be very hard coming to terms with  not achieving goals set by a certain age. But when we can’t move past the goals not achieved, it could lead to self-pressures which may lead to regrets and us not forgiving ourselves. When we don’t love ourselves enough to forgive, it can lead to resentment, bitterness and strife which can lead to more pain. There is a need to appreciate how far you’ve come. Count your blessings and set a new goal.

Stop comparing yourself to others- it can be hard but it is crucial for you to realise your personal strengths, your resilience, your struggles and your wins. By comparing yourself to others, self-doubt, disappointment and demotivation may come lurking in. Refraining from comparison might be hard when conversations at dinner tables constantly revolves around dating, job opportunities, graduating, travel, marriage and pregnancy but this is a sign that you are growing up not a reason for discouragement. Rather you should be happy for others who are achieving their goals  and focus on yourself and your accomplishments.

At the end of the day you really don’t know what anyone is going through neither do you know the reason behind a person’s achievements. Social media doesn’t make it easy to stop comparing ourselves to others but the onus is on us as adults to filter the information we receive.We need to take  responsibility for our own feelings of insecurity and work on them.

In the past few weeks, I have been doing some soul searching, going to the gym, surrounding myself with positive energy, engaging in meaningful conversations, practicing gratitude and self-love. I plan on spending the next few months making no excuses for living a better life, becoming better at work, developing stronger and more positive relationships, improving my personal productivity and satisfaction.

Every year matters including the decisions you make as it folds into the next. Turning 25 matters not just because it symbolises the maturity or because it will lead you down the path to where you will be in the next 5 years. As a matter of fact, 25 is the year when life begins and if that doesn’t cheer you up, turning 25 is a gift that is not granted to everyone!

I say if you’re about to turn 25 like myself, embrace the new journey ahead of you and prepare for it.

This brings me to the end of today’s post. I hope you guys enjoyed the read, I enjoyed learning and creating it. Let me know your thoughts  in the comment section.

See you soon,

Florence

I am currently rocking pieces from Femmeluxe, loving this rose front twist culotte Rubbed Jumpsuit- Fiona

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