Hey beautiful people,
I have to say I’ve been enjoying catching up with friends, engaging in meaningful conversations and astoundly, I noticed that most of my friends are either 25 or turning 25. From the conversations, the themes seemed directed towards various forms of pressures and basically all of life’s big events. I was certainly shocked at how similar the feelings were, but also how differently everyone was dealing with it. I was even more shocked that it was not just my female friends feeling the pressure!
A lot of us could relate to the pressure coming from family members. Some of the pressure were also coming from personal goals people had set for themselves but yet to achieve such as being in a stable relationship, buying a mortgage, being financially stable and so on.
There were some positive feelings about turning 25 but today’s post is generally about the pressures and overwhelming thoughts (if you guys like, I could dedicate a post to the positive aspects too because there were a lot of these! Do let me know in the comment section)
What is it exactly that makes us feel under pressure as young people when approaching the age 25.
Are we being pressured by our society? Are these pressures cultural? Is it just an environmental thing or is it based on individual mindsets? These are a lot of questions that needs to be considered.
Speaking as someone from an African background, more specifically Nigerian as I cannot speak on behalf of all African countries. Since I finished my first degree, I’ve been asked repeatedly ‘Florence, where is he?’ ‘Are you being too picky?’ ‘Florence why are you still single?’ ‘You know you’re not getting any younger?’. I could continue with the list of questions. Though some of these questions sometimes come from people who just need to mind their own business in general, it can still have a negative impact especially if one is in a vulnerable state of mind. I personally feel it’s unfortunate that relationships are associated with success and responsibilities, I mean there is so much more about an individual that should be appreciated such as saving towards a house or discovering yourself on your first solo trip.
I took time out to really look deeply at what is causing the feeling of being overwhelmed or feeling under pressure. It seemed to stem from the notion of self-comparison, lack of self-love and not trusting one’s own journey.
I watched a YouTube video by Breeney Lee’s in which she shared a different perspective on how we should practice love. I thought I’d share my perspective on it as it seemed relatable to this topic.
Love is patient – be patient with the pace of your own journey. Review the goals you have set in the past. Were they realistic? Were they achievable? If they were not, set new goals and work towards them, actively and consistently. Also, remember patience is a virtue.
Love is forgiving- Move past your mistakes. Leave them in the past where they belong and create new experiences. We all have goals and dreams, it can be very hard coming to terms with not achieving goals set by a certain age. But when we can’t move past the goals not achieved, it could lead to self-pressures which may lead to regrets and us not forgiving ourselves. When we don’t love ourselves enough to forgive, it can lead to resentment, bitterness and strife which can lead to more pain. There is a need to appreciate how far you’ve come. Count your blessings and set a new goal.
Stop comparing yourself to others- it can be hard but it is crucial for you to realise your personal strengths, your resilience, your struggles and your wins. By comparing yourself to others, self-doubt, disappointment and demotivation may come lurking in. Refraining from comparison might be hard when conversations at dinner tables constantly revolves around dating, job opportunities, graduating, travel, marriage and pregnancy but this is a sign that you are growing up not a reason for discouragement. Rather you should be happy for others who are achieving their goals and focus on yourself and your accomplishments.
At the end of the day you really don’t know what anyone is going through neither do you know the reason behind a person’s achievements. Social media doesn’t make it easy to stop comparing ourselves to others but the onus is on us as adults to filter the information we receive.We need to take responsibility for our own feelings of insecurity and work on them.
In the past few weeks, I have been doing some soul searching, going to the gym, surrounding myself with positive energy, engaging in meaningful conversations, practicing gratitude and self-love. I plan on spending the next few months making no excuses for living a better life, becoming better at work, developing stronger and more positive relationships, improving my personal productivity and satisfaction.
Every year matters including the decisions you make as it folds into the next. Turning 25 matters not just because it symbolises the maturity or because it will lead you down the path to where you will be in the next 5 years. As a matter of fact, 25 is the year when life begins and if that doesn’t cheer you up, turning 25 is a gift that is not granted to everyone!
I say if you’re about to turn 25 like myself, embrace the new journey ahead of you and prepare for it.
This brings me to the end of today’s post. I hope you guys enjoyed the read, I enjoyed learning and creating it. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section.
See you soon,
Florence
I am currently rocking pieces from Femmeluxe, loving this rose front twist culotte Rubbed Jumpsuit- Fiona
Enjoy your 25 age. It’s a beautiful period. True, love will happen when one finds the right person. And yes, no need to compare with others ever. Live your life the way you want 🙂
Hi Shush, thank you so much for stopping by. Yes! true love happens when one finds the right person, I definitely agree with that. I’m glad you could relate, I hope to see you soon
Happy 25th birthday enjoy it as much as you can and remember it only gets better from here. Love your outfit by the way.
Hey Joan, thank you for stopping by at the blog. It is not my birthday just yet, but thanks! I am glad you could relate to the post too
Happy Birthday to you!! 25 is a fun age!! You are so beautiful. Hope you had a great birthday and fun celebration. Love your dress
Hi Brittany, thanks for stopping by and for all the compliments xx
Happy Birthday! You have some great lessons here. I learned to stop comparing myself to others too. And I love this dress by the way.
Hi Amber, thanks for stopping by on the blog today. Yes, it is so important we stop comparing ourselves as it more detrimental to our growth as individuals. Thanks for the compliment btw
Age is just a number. That is what I keep telling myself as I get older and older.
Hi Tara, hahahaha you know while it sounds funny, it is so true. Age is just a number and we should not be focused on it too much. Thank for stopping by on the blog !
I even don’t remember the times when I was 25! I’ll be 31 this year, but I’m enjoying being older rather than younger! Life is much more interesting and intense now! 🙂
Hi Natalia, this is so beautiful, I love that you are enjoying your older self or satisfied with the stage you are in life. It is so important man! Thank you for stopping by
Just imagine the things you will learn over the next 5 years – because when you turn 30… You learn a whole new world of wisdom!
Hi GiGi, it always nice to see you stop by the blog. You make me feel even more excited about turning 30
Girl you have plenty of life to live. Enjoy everything you have right now. Nothing wrong with setting goals and standards for yourself and just waiting for love; when it happens it happens. Good luck and you look amazing!
Hey Aldrei, thank yo so much. It felt like I could hear speak those words, thanks and yes I’m waiting patiently for everything to fall in place but I am definitely also enjoying my life in the mean time!
Wow! 25 is a great age! I’d give anything to go back to those years. Seems a distant memory now haha. Enjoy, embrace and flourish with it becuase twenties go fast. After ready this it seems you have your life in check and you have a path already set out. I wish you all the best on your journey! Keep smiling…
Hi John, thank you so much. I will take all the great advice and wow the 20s going by so quick! I wanna be young forever lol, I will definitely keep smiling. I hope to see you again soon on the blog
You really hit it on the head with this: “self-comparison, lack of self-love and not trusting one’s own journey.” I think it’s important for young people to know that you won’t have it all figured out at 25, maybe not even 35 (I’m almost there and still working on myself). Life has so many ups and downs. You can set goals for yourself but sometimes life has other plans, so you have to learn to adapt and overcome. Awesome post, and 25 looks great on you!
Hi! such deep words you express so effortlessly. I definitely agree, like even with ready the comments, I feel this sums it all, just accepting, enjoying, living in the moment and knowing we all figure life out at different stages. Super important, thank you for stopping by!
That’s a really pretty outfit! Congrats on your recent birthday. It seems like you have had a beneficial and cathartic time of reflection and ascertained some valuable lessons. I’m 61 now, and my four kids are actually all older than you (my youngest will be 30 this year, making all four in their 30s). If I think WAY back – and then look at my own kids – I think 25 is a milestone birthday because it places us far enough away from our teen years to be “officially” engaged in adulthood and carrying much of the weight of the responsibilities “adulting” requires.
Hi Dr.K.lEE, thank you so much for taking time out to respond with such a powerful message. I definitely agree with you on 25 being a year where we have been placed far enough from our teenage years, you know you have lived a little and are now at the stage where you’re getting ready to be an adult! I also recognise that this is not in everyone case but I feel its the way for me right now anyway, thanks and I hope to see you again on the blog
25 is a great time to stop and reflect. Any birthday, really, is a good catalyst. It sounds like you have had some great realizations about life and relationships.
Hi Melanie, thank you so much for stopping by. I definitely agree with birthdays being a great catalyst for reflection. I do but there is always room for improvement and growth. I hope to see you soon on the blog
I hope you will have a bless and happy 25th birthday. Yes I do agree with what you said that we have to stop comparing ourselves to others and be happy with what we have.
Hi Chelle, I am glad you could relate, thanks for stopping by on the blog. I am glad you could relate and thanks !
Its a great age to be and you should totally enjoy every bit mindfully. Love the soft pink jumpsuit!
Hi Aditi, thank yo so much for stopping by. I will enjoy it mindfully , thank you for highlighting such an importance piece that ‘mindfulness’. Aww thanks, its funny how blush pink would not be my first choice but actually turned out nice, thanks!
Such a lovable entry!! This exudes all the positivity, and you deserve all the joys in the world. This post is trulely timely as I feel a bit off at the moment. Happy 25th!
Hi Sandra, thank you for stopping by. I am happy that you could relate in some way and found it helpful. Thank you for all the compliments too and I hope you feel better soon, do remember to surround yourself around positivity and engaging in what makes you happy
The prime of your twenties. THis is when you are going to find out who you and your friends are and want to be!
Hi Alexandra, yes I could not agree with you anymore. I intended on making the most of to!
Congrats girl! There’s definitely a lot of pressure out there. Social pressure, inner circle pressure and our self imposed pressures lol The important thing is to enjoy the ride and live this life to the fullest. Have fun<3
XO
Candace
http://www.thebeautybeau.com
Hi Candace, thank you for stopping by. I absolutely agree with you on sometimes the issue being self-imposed pressures. At the end of the day, the best gift we can give ourselves is peace to live our life to the fullest. Thank you so much and I hope to see you again soon
<# Happy birthday, first of all. Secondly, I think it's great that you're reflecting on your lessons-learned. If there is one great thing to come from blogging it is that more and more people are being inspired to write these kinds of posts.
H Amy-Lynn, thank you so much for stopping by. I definitely agree with you on that one! Having a blog is a great platform to express one’s feelings and inspire others, I definitely find it therapeutic. Thank you for stopping by!
I could totally relate to this Florence, thank you for sharing!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I’m turning 25 this year and there’s always been so much pressure to have ‘things together’ by this age. I really had to have a self-check and see where all the pressure I was feeling was coming from! There’s no written rule to have things together by now.
What helped me was remembering that I am unique, I’m fearfully and wonderfully made, I’m gifted, talented and my journey is not like anyone else’s journey. Comparison is the thief of joy so why spend my time allowing unnecessary pressures like that suck my joy away? Just gotta stay in my lane, keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and keep rolling with my life.
Let’s lift each other up, and encourage one another instead of the opposite and adding to unrealistic goals. Life’s too short, let’s celebrate one another 🎉 🎉 🎉
Hi Tracy, I could not agree more with what you’ve said. We just need to focus on ourselves, our own journey and enjoy being who we are. I am so glad you could relate, thank yo for stopping by and happy birthday in advance
It’s so interesting. I don’t remember feeling any pressure from my family at 25, but maybe because I was in grad school. I felt more pressure at 30. Like I was falling behind where my life should be, even though most of my friends were in the same place I was.
Hey Cindy, oh that’s quite interesting I suppose that’s the beauty of individual lives. I wish I could say I relate with the pressures of turning 30 but I think I’d say the same thing as I’ve said here which would be to take your time, be mindful of the process, enjoy your journey and remember to live your best life no matter what stage you’re in.
Wish you a very Happy 25th Birthday! I would just advise you to have lots of fun, food, and laughter. I love your dress and style!
Hi Mayuri, thank you so much ( I wish I clarified the title of the post as being based on the theme of discussion I was having with my friends at the time as my birthday is actually in September but thank you all the same). Thank you for the advice, I will definitely be taking heed to it, I hope to see you soon again
Happy Birthday Florence. You’re such a mature, thoughtful, beautiful your girl! Enjoy these days of happiness and please do not hurry to get married with the first guy just because they are putting pressure on you. You’re Queen and queens make their own choices. Love. Enri
Hi Enriqueta, thank you so much for stopping by and for the beautiful comment too. We are all queens! Yes, you are absolutely right with not making decisions based on pressures. I hope to see you again on the blog
First of all Happy Birthday. Secondly, girl I totally feel you. I remember the pressure that came with turning 25 and all the questions about where is he blah blah blah, oh and the quarter life crisis that came with it. What I will say is after practicing self- love I realised nothing else matters as long as I am happy. Do you girl and enjoy your life. As Beyoncé said ” get your own life before you become someone’s wife 😉 “
First of all Happy Birthday. Secondly, girl I totally feel you. I remember the pressure that came with turning 25 and all the questions about where is he blah blah blah, oh ad the quarter life crisis that came with it. What I will say is after practicing self- love I realised nothing else matters as long as I am happy. Do you girl and enjoy your life. As Beyoncé said ” get your own life before you become someone’s wife 😉 “
Hi Tori,
Thank you for stopping by on the blog! Yes you are so right, happiness is key and satisfaction with yourself and where you are in life. I definitely believe there’s more to life than just being someone’s misses or wife, I’m glad you could relate